VMA

So we're in the home stretch of P&I. It's been a blast of fun times on and off stage. I got a note from Ruben yesterday (Im not going to say exactly what- that would make this blog just a little too revealing) that Im going to implement with reckless abandon from here on out. hahaha (devious laughter)

muMs

Dress Rehearsal

Dress rehearsal, bah!!! this is a show.
Im nervous. well, not really but it's always good for me to say that to myself. it's keeps me in check.
I've got my lines and understand my purpose. my confidence is steady....
ahhh.... I can hear over the speaker, it's begun. Puzzo has tossed the mail.

-mums

Oh Amy...

...the things I wanted to say to you. The places I wanted to take you to. Your smile stayed with me the whole afternoon. The roses smelled ever so sweeter and brought thoughts of you racing back to me treading the meaningless doldrums I thought had meant so much.
You.
You have diverted my desires and have given my life true worth.

-bobby

I Had A Dream Last Night

I dreamt about Dick.  We took a cruise.  It was an amazing ride on the huge white boat.  The water was choppy and we were tossed around and the waves from the sea came crashing down on us.  We were wet.  Then we found a life boat and we snuck on board.  It was raw passion and I was instantly impregnated by Dick.  Afterwards, he insisted on wearing my panties, odd I thought but who cares I am caring his baby!  My stomach swelled and I went into labor right there, Dick helping me the whole time.  Finally, the baby was delivered but when I looked down it was a baby calf.  Dick swooped it up and insisted it looked just like him. He tried to breast feed it but I woke up.  Hmmmh? Maybe, it was all that raw food last night.

Fur is dead.

Lollie

"Dear Diary" by Dick Moft

Dear Diary

I will no longer sit idly by allowing Lollie to spew her commie propaganda regarding foie gras, veal and all things delicious through the uncensored concourses of the world wide web!

It is my God given right as an citizen of this great nation to eat whatever I please regardless of whom or what is being tortured!

Besides, torture is the new oral: neither constitutes what it used to and we no longer agree on what it is. Is it sex, is it torture or is it just yummy?

I think Lollie hates freedom and I am sure she has never had Unicorn soup.

Sincerely,


Dick Moft

P.S. I am finding shoplifting and pushing people into traffic surprisingly calmative.

"Dear Diary" by Dick Moft

Dear Diary,

Today was a rough one. The stress was unbearable. I am ever so grateful to have found my happy place for I needed its sweet embrace several times during the days inane proceedings. As directed, I allowed the vessels of my youthful memories to circumnavigate the tumultuous oceans of my discontent. Once in calm waters, I was enraptured in visions of summers spent with my chums; all of us gaily glistening in the mercilessly beating sun by the old concrete pond. It was as if I had experienced the same release from my everyday cares which until now had only been marked by the secrecy sworn to by young boys in misty woods.

Sincerely,


Dick Moft

P.S. I purchased a six-pack of Vaseline and a spatula today and I don't know why.

Working Title " The Little Temp that Could"

It'll be a one woman show.

More later, have to draft that memo for Dick.

"Dear Diary" by Dick Moft

Dear Diary,

Lots and lots of work ahead. I'm no good at work really. It's always been enigmatic to me. A wondrous curiosity of the billions of little people that seem to inhabit this rock of a planet as it spins once every 24 hours around its slightly irregular axis. I'm overwhelmed.

I haven't had a temper tantrum in 23 1/2 hours. Great progress. I spent the most of the morning smelling bicycle seats around the city which brought me great relief. I hope today's fandango with Lollie, Lyle and Amy isn't completely unbearable. They leave so much to be desired. They are one more example of why this notion of a "Middle-Class" was a bad, bad idea.

Sincerely,


Dick Moft

P.S. When I read a JC Penny catalog I get a funny feeling in my danger zone.

"Dear Diary" by Dick Moft

Dear Diary,

I often sit on a pile of pebbles pondering the mysteries of the known as well as the unknown universe as it relates to the fact that I absolutely love to wear women's undergarments. I like the way they feel against my skin. I like the way they make me feel inside. I like to know that I know what no one else knows. It is my own private little treasure; my own little oasis in an otherwise deserted wasteland of incompetence.

Sincerely,

Dick Moft

P.S. I'm still patiently waiting for my breasts to arrive.